Someone (aka the cast of the hit musical Rent) once asked how you measure a year. In daylight? In sunsets? In midnights, in cups of coffee? In inches, in miles? In laughter, in strife? Or do you measure those 525, 600 minutes in love?
When I look back on the past 365 days, I’m not so sure a measurement exists that could quantify the kind of year it’s been.
I suppose I could try to measure it the number of Wunder Unders I no longer fit into. A sign that in this past year, my body began to heal.
I could measure it in the number of kilometres I ran. How each one taught me that I have it in me to be a warrior.
I could measure it in the number of times I shit myself. Once. And in that moment I learned to laugh at the things I can’t control.
Or maybe, the number of posts I wrote. 332 including this one. Shy of the 365 I was aiming for, but more than I ever thought possible.
I could measure it in the posts I didn’t write. How I learned on those days to forgive myself. How each day I stepped away from the page, I learned to let go of perfection.
I could measure it in the number of dollars I saved. Zero. Which, if I were the same person I was that wrote the very first post on here, would be considered a monumental failure.
But I can’t measure this year in goals I achieved and goals I didn’t. For it was in the pursuit of them that the magic happened.
It was in the showing up – even when it sucked, even when I’d failed, , even when the last thing I wanted to do was show you who I was – that makes this past year immeasurable.
And, the truth is, I wouldn’t have shown up if it wasn’t for you.
Your support, your encouragement, your standing for me when I didn’t know how to stand for myself has meant more than anything else.
It has taught me that none of us are alone.
So thank you, for sharing in this journey with me. Thank you not just for reading, but for offering up your stories too.
This year I discovered that we are so much more than our bodies, so much more than our clothes. So much more than what others think of us. So much more than what we think of ourselves.
This year, you taught me that who we are is infinite, possible and immeasurable.
All in all, it’s been a wunder-filled year.